David said some things which cut me pretty deep. They are things I have always felt insecure about and I thought that he understood that I wasn't like the rest of them, I wasn't that type of girl - that type of person. But that seems to be what he wants. He should have known who I was before binding us together like he did. I don't even understand him. He is so ignorant and idiotic.

He said that he doesn't want to take me to parties because I dress wierdly and like and old lady (which isnt even true). Then he says I don't socialize (more like in the way that he likes) and I "don't even drink". He just wants some bimbo person who drinks and gets crazy when they drink. I'm sorry that is just not who I am. I am not like that at all. Especially around him though. He doesn't really bring that much good out of me really. He is always saying rude things to the people around him which makes me uncomfortable. Hes always one upping or whatever. He likes it when his friend flirts with him...
I am really not the flirty type like that. I don't like to flirt - I like to love, i like to express love, get excited together, share love, but I'm not a flirter. I have never been! If he wanted that he shouldn't have gotten together with me in the first place. What a retard.

and then he said that his family doesnt even feel comfortable around me. Well like I said he's always being an ass. I don't really feel good in my heart with his family. I feel uneasy. if feel like they are judgemental and not enjoying themselves. i enjoy my family much better. I feel loved when I am there - or at least I see the love between them. His family doesn't really have a good feeling at all.

He is such a retard that I don't even know why I would have chosen to be with him in the first place. Other than the fact that i was really messed up and my sense of judgement was very comprimised. Also, he lied to me in the beginning acting like he liked everything I liked. And I lied to me too because I wanted so much for me to find someone that I kinda made him seem more perfect in my mind than he was.

But he has got a lot of explaining to do.
Even though he said that he would not want to date another girl again till a year after we break up, he said that he was thinking that if he wasn't with me he'd be at a Halloween party where girls would be flirting with him and he just doesnt feel that I do that at all.

But he's not been worthy of flirting lately. he never pays attention to me. He's rude, he explodes and gets very angry at me for stupid things.

And all this further breaks down the perfection i thought was his. And he's not even nice to children, even though he likes them and wants them. His baby sister is totally scared of him because he has a threatening demeaner to her and is very superiorist around them. He likes the way they make him feel about himself.

And he's not even "my type". Not musical, not deep and understanding of intrinsic truths of life, not thoughtful, not philosophical or artistic. I mean I don't want someone who is too feminine or too fruity. I like someone who has a manly side but who understands emotion and beauty and music. I haven't felt that.. I dont know how to describe it. But that moment in movies where the characters realize they have the same love in common - like the love of music. Where they share this strong love for something. I mean i guess we have that for nature - yet he'll never go there with me.

To him life is all about games now.
His parents took away his internet for two weeks. I think it had something to do with him dumping me in front of his mom.
He made me cry and her cry too by dumping me again in front of her. She's had a darker tone in her voice since she's talked to us lately.

I just didn't understand. I didn't know what hit me. It was all a surprise to hear all the awful things he had to say. He doesn't seem to be the person I thought he was, or at least he has changed. What happened to him wanting to help people and stand for justice? What happened to him thinking. What happened to the David I felt for.